Warning: Do Not Read While Sleeping
by Arcanine
Summary: It's like a hairdryer...don't do anything with it while sleeping! This curses a bit. Goku gets drunk. Vegeta likes Snapple. Yamcha, Krillin and GT Trunks all talk about curses. Mr. KiBlast comes out of a kitchen sink! Fushigi Yuugi appearances! A showdow
1. Default Chapter

You know how a hairdryer had a warning label on it that said "Warning: Do Not Use While Sleeping"? Heh heh....Warning: Contains Mr. KiBlast, Real Ki Blasts, Insta-Ki-Blasts, Ki-For-Me and other sorts of artificial Ki blasts, as well as cursing, debates over curse words and Snapple!   
  
  
  
Warning: Do Not Read While Sleeping  
  
"What the hell is wrong with this drying utensil? How could anyone but an imbicile like Kakarot use it while sleeping?" demanded Vegeta, while attempting to use a hairdryer on his extremely wet Saiya-jin hair.  
"That's not nice, Vegeta!" Goku yelled, sticking his head into the doorway.  
"K..Kakarot?! What are YOU doing here?" demanded the angry, wet Saiyan Prince.  
"Um...nothin'...Bulma wants you to...uh..." Goku said, trying to remember what he was told to say. "Oh yeah! She wants you to finish 'drying your damn hair and get the hell out of there this instant'. See ya, Veggie!"  
"Damn Kakarot...damn humans...hell, while I'm at it why don't I just yell..." Vegeta trailed off. "DAMN IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"Daddy! Mommy said not to say that 'cause there kids here. I dunno who she means, but she seems angry." Chibi Trunks said from the doorway with Chibi Goten close behind.  
"CAN'T EVERYONE LEAVE ME ALONE?! I'M TRYING TO DRY MY DAMN HAIR WITH THIS DRYING UTENSIL!" Vegeta yelled.  
"Mommy told me that if you say that word again, Mr. KiBlast will come to get you." Trunks said in a conspiracy-ish whisper that I forgot the term for.  
"Mr. KiBlast? HAH! I am not scared of any 'Mr. KiBlast'! You want a ki blast? I'll show you a ki blast! THIS IS WHAT YOU ALL GET FOR NOT LETTING ME FINISH MY HAIR!" Vegeta screamed, throwing ki blasts every which way throughout the house.  
  
  
~A few minutes later, when Vegeta was done with his hair~  
  
(GT) Goten was innocently getting a drink of water. At a sink. With a glass. You know, like a normal half-Saiyan getting a drink of water with a glass at a sink. Little did he know the horrors that a sink may bring.  
No, it wasn't as horrible as the time in the Baby saga where he was going to get a drink. That would be a horrible fate. No, instead, it was....  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Goten as he narrowly escaped a ki blast coming out of the sink. "IT'S MR. KIBLAST!"  
Chibi Trunks, Mirai Trunks AND GT Trunks all came running in. Chibi Trunks announced "But Mr. KiBlast was a fakey thing that Mommy made up to scare the ...uh...Future-self, what was it again?"  
"It was to scare the living shit out of Father, remember?" Mirai no Trunks announced.  
"Uh...future self? Shit isn't alive." GT Trunks remarked with much intelligence. "Though if you were to be accurate, it is partially alive since it comes from a living organism such as ourselves."  
"No time to argue about it....HELP!" screamed Goten, running frantically out of the kitchen.  
"What are you all yelling about?" Bulma asked, nearly getting trampled on by Goten.  
"It's Mr. KiBlast!" yelled Goten over his shoulder as he plowed into Gohan.  
"What?" asked Gohan.  
"Mr. KiBlast! Bulma made it up to scare Vegeta and he's ALIVE!" yelled Goten, yelling yet again.  
"Vegeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Bulma screamed at the top of her lungs.  
"What is it NOW?!" demanded Vegeta, who had eventually dryed his hair.  
"Mr. KiBlast is coming out of the kitchen sink!" Bulma exclaimed...and they all knew it was an exclamation because of the exclamation point at the end.  
"And why should I care about this...this...fake ki-blasting monstrosity?" asked Vegeta.  
"BECAUSE HE'S IN THE KITCHEN! AND HE'S DRINKING ALL OF YOUR SNAPPLE!" Bulma yelled.  
"NOBODY DRINKS THE PRINCE OF SAIYA-JINS' SNAPPLE AND GETS AWAY ALIVE!" yelled Vegeta, charging into the kitchen at a speed that only an angry Saiyan wanting Snapple could travel at.  
Vegeta entered the kitchen, only to find Goku already in there who was, along with Mr. KiBlast, drinking Vegeta's prized Snapple drinks. They were talking and laughing and having a funfun time until Vegeta yelled "DROP THE SNAPPLE AND NOBODY GETS KILLED!"  
"Aww...Vegeta! I was just having a drink with this nice friend of mine. He has just invited me to join him in trying to take over the world." Goku said in a drunken voice.  
"HE PUT ALCOHOL IN MY SNAAAAAAAAAAAAPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" bellowed out Vegeta and every character imaginable gathered there to find out why he was yelling so much. Then, all but the Z fighters left. Which left only Z fighters and not the people who left.  
"Hey, Goku!" said everyone.  
"My friend," said Goku, gesturing to Mr. KiBlast who looked just like a shadowed figure, "Has invited me to help him take over the world. We begin at dawn!"  
An evil laugh issued forth from Mr. KiBlast. Why issued forth? I don't know. It sounds weird.  
"What's wrong with him, Vegeta?" Krillin asked.  
"That Mr. KiBlast stole my Snapple and gave some to Kakarot with alcohol in it. Kakarot is now drunk and will proceed to take over the world with Mr. KiBlast. Damn!" Vegeta exclaimed.  
"Uh...Vegeta...I hate to contradict you," said Yamcha, using a big word, "But maybe saying 'crap' would be more appropriate."  
"Yeah. It's a little worse than 'damn'. But if you really want to curse, you should use 'shit' because it's the worst. Aside from..." Krillin said with suspense.  
"The Word of Words.....The Word With The F in it!" they all said together, under their breath, lest anyone hurt them for saying it.  
"Gasp." gasped Goku, in a gasping-ish manner at hearing The World referred to. "Thou shalt not speak of the word. Tomorrow at dawn I shall see you all for a showdown to end all showdowns! And then we shall see what happens!"   
  
What will happen? Will Goku recover from his drunken-ness? Will anyone use any really bad words? Will Mr. KiBlast kill anyone? Will they actually fight Goku? Who knows? I do! Coming up...Chapter 2: Ki in a Bottle!  



	2. A Fruitcake and Impala-horn on Rye!

Warning: Do Not Read While Sleeping!  
Ch.2: Ki in a Bottle!  
  
  


     "Vegeta!  What are we going to do?  Is Goku gonna stay drunk for long?" Krillin asked.    
    "How should I know?!  I'm not the one who put the stuff in the Snapple!" Vegeta yelled at him.  
    "Why don't we call the 1-800-VILLAIN hotline and see if we can get tips on how to beat people trying to take over the world?" suggested Yamcha.  
    "You idiot!  That's for people who WANT to take over the world!" yelled Krilin.  
    "I knew that, Krillin.  How could you accuse me of such a thing!" demanded Yamcha at the accusation of him being an idiot.  
    Arguments continued in this fashion until a few minutes before dawn.  
  
    "WHY DO YOU INSIST ON ARUGUING IN THIS FASHION!  IT'S A FEW MINUTES UNTIL DAWN!" yelled Vegeta.  "Forget it, we need a secret weapon!"   
    Vegeta picked up the phone and dialed 1-800-Ki-4-1-N-AL, the 1-800, toll-free ordering place for artificail Ki-products of all sorts.  Moments later, a package arrived at the door of Capsule Corp.  To avoid paying, Vegeta demonstrated HIS ki to the delivery guy.  The guy never returned again.  
     "You can use these artificial ki-products to enhance your abilites with a money-back guarantee!" was the last thing he said.    
     "'You can use these artificail ki-products to enhance your abilities with a money-back guarantee!' was the last thing he said." said Vegeta.  
     "Before you blew him up." Yamcha said.  
     "Right.  Now, take some of these, okay?  That way, we'll knock Kakarot senseless and defeat this Mr. KiBlast.  Then I can buy some more Snapple.  I may even let you have some for helping." Vegeta said.  
      They just nodded, knowing that they shouldn't stand in the way of Vegeta and his Snapple.    
      "I'll take the Insta-Ki, you take the Ki-in-a-bottle!" remarked Yamcha oh-so-happily.  
      "Hey, Vegeta, are you sure you ordered from the right company?  It looks like these are drugs!" Krillin said.  
      "Huh?" huh'd the Prince of Saiyans who had just realized that 1-800-Ki-4-1-N-AL was really just a fake name for a company that sold drugs to pathetic weaklings who wanted to get stronger.  
      "YAMCHA!  NO!" yelled Krillin.  


      "Huh?" huh'd the Yam. "These irince of Saiyans who had just realized that 1-800-Ki-4-1-N-AL was really just a fake name for a company that sold drugs to pathetic weaklings who wanted to get stronger.  


      "YAMCHA!  NO!" yelled Krillin.  
      "Huh?" huh'd the Yam. "These directions say, 'Take out Insta-ki powder. Proceed to inhale through the nose until you feel sufficiently strong. Warning: May cause dizziness and cause the user to get high. High on Ki ®!' Why would it be a drug?"  
"This Ki-in-a-Bottle smells like.....CHLORINE!" gasped Krillin, who had by accident taken a large sniff of the liquid "KI" in the bottle.  
"And this stuff is acid!" Vegeta exclaimed. "Why did I kill the salesguy?! I could have tortured the information out of him! Damn!"  
"Vegeta...do you think crap is more appropriate here?" asked Krillin.  
Yamcha, meanwhile, was trying out some various ki-products, like Insta-Ki, Ki-in-a-bottle, Ki-4-u, 1-2-Ki and more.  
"I think I shall join Goku and Mr. KiBlast in taking over the world." said Yamcha in a maniac-robot voice of some kind. Monotone! Yeah, that's the word. In a montonous voice. However you spell it.  
"They drugged my Snapple and took over the Ki company so they could stop us from stopping them!" Vegeta yelled.   
"Oh no. Hey, Vegeta, you used a lot of big words. But I know better ones. Perpetutal. Serious. Televison." said Krillin, naming a few.  
"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcaniconiosis!" yelled Vegeta, naming the longest word in the english language that I think is a type of disease.  
"What to do? It is but a minute to dawn! How shall we defeateth Goku?" Krillin asked dramatically.  
"With a fruitcake?" suggested Vegeta.  
"And Yamcha should be impaled with an impala-horn on rye bread." said Krillin for he did not like rye bread.  
"Good. I believe they can all be found inside the many rooms of Capusle Corp. I shall work with you to destroy Mr. KiBlast and take revenge for my Snapple! I will meet you in one minute at the site Kakarot will be at to fight in a showdown to end all showdowns!" Vegeta proclaimed-eth.  
"You proclaimeth well, Vegeta! I shall see-eth you then!" Krillin called over his shoulder as he left the building.  
  
After a minute, the two of them met near a rock wall so that they could slam someone into it, in the tradition of all really good DBZ fights where people get hit into rock walls or at least punch them to the ground.  
"Shouldn't there be some cool music about now?" asked Krillin.  
"How should I know? Just pick one and it'll start playing!" Vegeta said in an irritated way since he wanted revenge.  
"Ok.............." said Krillin.   
All of a sudden, the DBZ song "Warning of Danger" began to play in the background.  
"Now, Kakarot, Yam, Mr. KiBlast! We shall see what happens to those who pollute my Snapple!"  
"Yes! I know what you did before that Mr. KiBlast! You deprived me of my Mentos!" Krillin said angrily.  
"Mentos?" Vegeta asked.  
"Yes." replied Krillin in a depressed voice.  
"Ahh, then he shall pay doubly!" Vegeta exclaimed.  
"IN THE NAME OF SNAPPLE, MENTOS AND OTHER SUGARY FOOD AND DRINK, WE SHALL PUNISH YOU!" said them both in a way not unlike Sailor Moon.  
  
  
What will happen NOW? I don't know! I'll write the next chapter soon!


	3. More chapters for you and me, Plus Fushi...

Chapter 3 is here at last~!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH....  I forgot to cash in my reality checks!    
  
  


Chapter 3:  
The Showdown To End All Showdowns  
And "Foul" Language~!  
  
  


    "Foul language is bad, though fun." said Vegeta.  
    "MONDO-" Krillin began.  
    "NO!  THAT IS FOUL LANGUAGE!  STOP IT IMMEDIATELY OR THOU SHALT PAY DEARLY IN LARGE QUANTITIES OF SUGAR!" Vegeta yelled.  
    "Mondo cool!" Krillin said.  
    "AHHHH!" screamed Vegeta.  
    "What, did I say something wrong?" Krillin asked as they moved into the spot designated by a drunken Goku and Mr. KiBlast.  
    "It's "foul" language!  CEASE YOUR HORRID LANGUAGE!" yelled Vegeta.  "Though you could use that phrase to scare the living out of Kakarot."  
    "But isn't living, Vegeta!  You know, if you ask your son, he provides a very good explanation on the reason." Krillin said.  
    "Maybe I WOULD ask him, but Kakarot has convinced him and all of the other minors to go to his illegal club with Mr. KiBlast and get all drunk with him.  Then they were all going to take over the world together.  No doubt they will be late and make us wait to battle to the death!" Vegeta said unhappily.  
    "I am also unhappily at this moment, for I am chewing upon gum that is sugar free!" Krillin said.  "For Mr. KiBlast has stolen all objects of sugar in this world!"  
    "He shall most definitely pay!" joined in the voice of Tasuki from Fushigi Yuugi who was standing upon a cliff in a most dramatic pose.  
    "No da!" chorused Chichiri of Fushigi Yuugi, which can be considered a tounge twister to those who do not speak well.  Or Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcaniconiosis can, but then again, it's all your preference.   
    "Giving alcohol to minors, stealing sugar, what next?" Tasuki asked.  
    "It is bad, no da!" Chichiri said.  
    "I am here!" yelled Mr. KiBlast, "And so is my evil army of drunken lunatics!"  
    Goku and the others flew drunkenly down and landed in a heap on the leafy ground.  Unfortunately, it also had twigs which poked them, and which were quickly ki-blasted to a crisp.  
    "And harming nature, no da!  That is serious!" Chichiri exclaimed.  
    "And not mondo cool!" said Krillin, looking away before Vegeta could give him an Evil Glare of Doom for saying That Phrase.  
"Speak not that phrase!" yelled out everyone simultaneously, using a quite fun word indeed, which was "simultaneously".  
"Come, let us fight!" said Kakarot.  
"But you are late, O Drunken Baka!" said Vegeta to him.  
"Oh! How horrid! Bad me! BAD!" said Goku the Drunk, as he fired a ki blast backwards at himself in punishment.  
"WE WILL DEFEAT YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" screamed Tasuki.  
"We will kick your ass, no da!" Chichiri added.  
"Oh, no, for we shall defeat you all and rule the world!" Mr. KiBlast said. "For my drunken army has powers beyond mortal imagination!"  
"Isn't this the part where the chapter ends and there's a cliffhanger for a day or two?" asked Krillin.  
"Yes!"  
"No da."  
"WHAT DO YOU THINK?! OF COURSE!"   
All three people who remained not-drunken said. And right they were. For the chapter abruptly ended and an ending theme song faded into the background.


End file.
